Neuropsychological research published in the journal Science (October 2003) says, “rejection may be as tough as physical pain.” We need social connection, and being excluded or rejected is perceived as being as harmful to our survival as something that can physically hurt us. We feel the pain of rejection in the same part of the brain, the anterior cingulated cortex, which responds to physical pain!
Yet, in order to be successful, we have to ask. We have to ask for something every time we’re in conversation with a prospect. We have to ask for a meeting. We have to ask to see the ultimate decision maker(s). And we have to ask for the order. Sometimes we’re turned down. And that hurts.
Don’t let that Pain stop you from asking! The classic mistake in sales is to fail to ask for the order—or the next step. As Keith M. Eades writes in The New Solution Selling, “Remember the SW Rule. The SW Rule says, ‘Some Will. Some Won’t. So What? Someone else is Waiting.’ ”
When selling conversations are recorded, salespeople always swear that they asked for something. But the recordings often show that no closing question was asked! “I look forward to working with you” is a statement, not a question. “My team is ready to begin immediately” is, also, a statement, not a question. Why are so few questions asked? Fear of rejection. If you ask, one of the possible responses is NO!