Intimacy - Your willingness to let conversations go beyond traditional bounds, and your willingness to be somewhat self-revealing (without talking too much about yourself or your service). Studies of what people dislike about salespeople reveal that many salespeople who are smart enough not to make presentations may instead hurt themselves by engaging in interrogations—question after question, usually about problem areas in the prospect’s company or organization.
That can be oppressive and exhausting. And while prospects are being asked to reveal all their problems, they know almost nothing about the salesperson. This works against trust. Similarly, salespeople who are so goal oriented that everything they say is focused on their objective, and nothing they say is responsive to anything else about the prospect save her perceived need for what is being sold are in trouble here.
Self-Orientation - Prospects may feel that they have been treated respectfully, that a salesperson was a good listener, and that a service or product does have merit. But if they think the salesperson is fundamentally self-oriented—that is, that all the good things that happened in the conversation occurred just because the salesperson did those things in order to get the sale—that’s a major turnoff.
This goes back to the need to have a Clean Heart Position when you’re selling—if your goal in selling is to see your prospect get what he or she wants, whether or not you or your company are involved, the issue of Self-Orientation shouldn’t be a problem.